Regrets

harlow.

so english, chinese and ss exams are over .

well, screwed them all up. idk what got into me these days, just totally not in exam mood luh.

i don't wish to mention how i screwed it up.. seriously, it's just flunked.

extremely prepared to fail.

but how prepared will those around me be to hear the news?

okay sounds weird.. but ya..

and yeah, i've changed a new blogskin.

looks kinda nice to me, hehe :D

i feel like so _______ (fill in the blank for me). i'm like screwing up my papers but i'm still using the computer. wth. am i really hopeless or something?

i just wish that this week could rewind. just like a game. back to tuesday. where i'll be at home studying for whatever subject. and then i'll be seating at the examination hall, choosing the CORRECT essay to write and complete it. i'll be answering the questions/summarising the paragraphs without worries. and after the exam, i'll be at home mugging for other subjects. and then the chinese letter. i'll reveal every single detail about the competition. chinese essay. i'll open my eyes WIDE enough to read the question properly and not write out of topic. and then i'll return home again to mug for ss. i'll take a quick nap of less than an hour. and find a really conducive place for me to study and memorise CHAPTER 5, and not chapter 3. when i return to school the next morning, i'll be in the examination hall, prepared to vomit everything that i memorised. i'll finish the essays in less than 45 minutes, and i'll spend the other 45 minutes on the sbqs. even though my hands will get tired, i'll not regret it, because i know i've done my best. i would know that i have studied to the best of my ability. but i've got to wake up from this dream. the reality is just the exact opposite. they're all IFs. Things will NOT, and will NEVER turn out that way. i've just gotta face the truth.

i'm really sorry for my very _____ post. you may have regretted reading it. but i really need somewhere to vent out my emotions. even tho i don't quite show it, but that's really how pathetic and remorseful i'm feeling right now. and if i'm not wrong, it's been a really long time since i felt this way about myself... i'm sorry once again.

my sincere apologies for saying such emotional stuff on Children's Day.. =/

screwed. flunked. failing.