In A Whirl.

Yes my mind is in a whirl right now.

B. A. Paint. To-dos. Meet-ups. Friends. Books. Music. Shows. and so many more.

I need to type something to keep my brain thinking. Moving. Alive.

Everything is messed up.

Is it my fault?

Somehow, I feel that we are drifting apart. Maybe I should not have told you about it. Maybe I should have hinted it more subtly. Maybe I should not have started it all in the first place. Maybe I should not have agreed. Maybe if people could speak their minds more freely, express themselves more clearly, let others know how they feel more explicitly, the world would be a better place. There would be lesser room for doubts, clearer thoughts, a greater understanding of each other. If only we could speak directly to each other, such that thoughts and words are expressed clearly, rather than jokingly say that we were "just kidding lol" or "i'm fine" and leave the other party to his/her wild imaginations or second-guessing. It just sucks. Maybe I'm just over-thinking. But I don't think I am over-thinking. Too many 'maybe's to consider.

We just need to learn to communicate better. All of us. Humans.


Maybe then, I wouldn't be caught in this position.

P.S. I forgot to mention, that above it all, we still need to maintain our friendly smiles and laughter, hiding our doubts and fears, like as if nothing big had happened. As if you didn't take things too seriously. As if that didn't matter at all. But it does. A whole lot.