Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Removal of alphabetical grading system?

Yesterday while I was showering, I began hypothesizing on something related to how the Singapore education system could be changed. And then this thought came up. To be honest, I did not do any research following my hypothesis so probably this model is being implemented in some other countries. After all, I have very limited general knowledge, even in my favourite aspect of education. But anyway, here's what my hypothesis was (please hear me out/read it through even if I may sound silly):

Could we possibly implement a system that does not use alphabetical grades in assessing students?

From my personal experience, I feel that having alphabetical grades i.e. A, A+, B-, C+ etc, creates a huge sense of competition (both healthy and unhealthy ones) between students and generates an immense amount of stress while learning. For education to truly be meant for its intended purpose, i.e. for learning, shouldn't we remove this system of grading using alphabets? It seems as if everyone is just striving for that A+ grade and the intended purpose of learning is gone. It's almost like we just wanna hit that KPI and that passion for learning is lost. In fact, most of my friends around me are studying in this field because of the career prospects and not for their passion in the area. I am guilty to admit that I belong to the same category too.

Anyway, I digress - so what I'm trying to say is that we remove the alphabetical grades and implement Pass/Fail systems for the assessment of students instead. Because like what the critics will claim, an assessment is still needed (which I agree to by the way) for schools to gauge their students' learning. And a Pass grade will only be awarded if students have been able to fulfil a certain criteria deemed suitable by their assessors/teachers, such as being able to demonstrate their knowledge in blahblah. So yes, examinations are still needed. On top of that, I think more assessments should be conducted on practical, hands-on skills instead of just theory. Even as an engineer myself, when I conduct laboratory work, half of the time I am not too sure what I'm doing and why I'm doing what I'm doing. So Pass grades should only be strictly awarded for students' capability to exhibit a full comprehension of the topic/module. At the end of the day, Pass grades should not be given so leniently e.g. by mere completion of the module like what is currently happening to Pass/Fail modules in my school. And what this means is that there is no such thing as GPA or Honours class or whatever not. So basically everyone needs x no. of Pass grades in order to graduate. You may wonder, then, how do employers select their employees since there is no longer a GPA/Hons class to use as a guide? Well, since the graduates would have graduated with Pass grades, they can be equated to all having the same technical knowledge and skills. Thus, the employment of a graduate will not be based on his accolades but his personality, extra-curricular activities and other capabilities. I think you get my drift here, ya?

Basically, I think in this hypothetical scenario, nobody loses and everyone wins. Students do not have to pull their hair over the alphabets and employers can be assured that all graduates are equally knowledgeable and equipped to take on a role in their company. In that sense, every graduate also stands an equal chance in getting employed since they are on the same level and there is no discrimination based on Honours class or GPA. In fact, some companies (I forgot which ones) have started removing the GPA criteria and are looking at other aspects during the recruitment of candidates as it has been proven that a good GPA does not equate to a good employee.

Overall, I don't see any potential drawbacks in doing so. And this is a fairly simple concept that I believe other countries may have adopted already. I really think it's something worth looking into and Singapore should consider taking on this approach to its education landscape.

Quite a while ago, I came across this on my Facebook:

"Go to university, but go for the right reasons. Education isn’t a gun held to your head: it’s a weapon in your hands. Go not because you’re afraid of not getting a job but go because you love to learn, because you’re excited by ideas, because you believe that education is important for its own sake, and when you get there, pay attention, read everything you can get your hands on, cram yourself with words and figures and ideas, because that’s the one thing they can never take away from you." Laurie Penney, The Independent, August 2012
I believe if everyone could adopt this mindset, then motivation becomes intrinsic and no longer based on grades. Only then, we truly become passionate and excited to learn. And with that passion to learn, I believe getting a Pass grade (that may be more difficult to achieve) becomes a more meaningful and less stressful process.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

I want the truth.

I saw something I shouldn't and I can't get over it.

You probably know what happened. And you got rid of it.

Now I'm not sure what to do.

Monday, August 3, 2015

累了。有时候真的不知道到底是在逃避现实,还是无谓的坚持,又或者是必经过的过程?

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

About Summer Holidays 2015

Hahaha using the words 'summer holidays' still sounds kinda weird coz it's all-year summer in Singapore. But anyway, this holiday, I had been quite actively involved in certain things that I thought are worth writing about, so here I am today.

Exams ended in early May I think.. so the first thing that happened was NUEVE XI Seniors' Camp. It was a 3D2N thing, but I think it gave me the chance to make some new friends. Well, me being the shy and introverted, by the term "making some friends" I sort of mean to actually say or exchange a few words with people I've never really spoken to.. it's a start, right? Kay so after Seniors' Camp ended I was feeling a bit bored because I didn't really have much to do. I tried tidying my desk and doing housework. I tried finding part-time work a little half-heartedly because I knew my chances weren't high given my schedule this holiday. What was coming up a few weeks after was my OCIP Trip to Vietnam with SCBE OCIP.

It being my first OCIP trip, I didn't really know what to expect. What I had in mind was a pretty village-y place, with agricultural crops, chickens, ducks running wild, a school with no proper concrete structure (?). But I turned out to be half right. So the school was actually quite well equipped for a rural area. Walls were made of concrete; classrooms had tables, chairs, blackboards, cabinets. Even the area (which was another classroom) we slept in was actually quite decent. The living environment was generally okay for me, except for the part about sanitation i.e. the toilets, and the relentless mosquitoes. Other than that, I was pretty satisfied with the facilities there.

What we had set out to do there was basically teaching and construction work. So we taught the kids there (aged 7-12 yo) basic English; did some simple Science experiments; hygiene lessons. As for construction, we were going to build a kindergarten and it was already started on by the previous team (Hall 12), so what we did were things like laying bricks, mixing cement, digging holes, plastering. All of which were completely new to me but I found joy in doing them. Yeah it's tough work definitely, but I went with an open mind and I was willing to put myself into doing those things. On top of that, I knew that it would definitely be a long-term contribution towards the Long Vinh community so it felt really meaningful. The builders (construction workers) were also patient and willing to teach us some skills thankfully so the whole thing went smoothly.

Through my interaction with the kids, I began to admire how they found joy in little things, like playing with insects and even the simple games that we came up with. These kids were so easily contented, a quality which I think is quite difficult to find in city dwellers nowadays. I also saw how they had a strong sense of curiosity and willingness to learn from us. During English lessons, some of them would actually write down the pronunciation of the words in their own language next to the English words so that they would remember how to read them correctly the next time. At the end of this trip, I am also glad to say that I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone, living in conditions that were rather different from Singapore. In conclusion, I really enjoyed my trip a lot and did not regret joining OCIP at all. I really wouldn't mind returning for a second or third time haha. If money is not an issue. Haha.

Okay so moving on, after I came back from Vietnam, I started searching for part-time to recoup my monetary losses (that will soon be or already have been made). I found a part-time job as a promoter to promote English workshops, mainly targeted at those who are illiterate in English. Anyway I shall not elaborate too much on that. So I worked for a bit, and then shortly after was NUEVE XI FOC!

I joined back NUEVE XI FOC as a Photog/GL, mainly because I really enjoyed it back then as a freshie. Sad to say, this year's FOC would be the last authentic NUEVE because the school would be combining the Freshmen Orientation together with NUEVE, so I believe some of the main highlights would be removed. Anyway, I shall not put myself through explaining what happened for each day of camp coz my fingers are getting a bit lazy/tired. In general, I found the freshies this year pretty enthu (yay) and I hope that the camp will help them settle down more easily in uni life and bond them together such that they will stay together through their next 4 years :) Sorry if I had not been a very loud/enthu GL or Photog coz I was kinda tired.. plus I am naturally a rather quiet person and I'm only better talking one-to-one haha so those who have spoken to me individually might find me more likable hehe.

Okay I think my post shall end soon. But before I go off, the last highlight of my holidays will be going off to Malaysia, Port Dickson for sea, sand and fun weeee. Hopefully all goes well! :)

Tata! :D

Monday, June 22, 2015

The Colour Oracle

I did this test/horoscope thingy and I found that it reflected my present situation quite accurately.. You could try it out here: http://www.astro.com/cgi/atxgen.cgi?btyp=cf

These are my results...

Your General Disposition
At the present time, your behavior is characterized by your need for a feeling of success. You willingly invest a great deal of energy. At the same time, though, you feel that your actions receive too little attention, acknowledgment and recognition from the people your efforts are aimed at. You find this difficult to understand since your actions prove again and again that you are good willed and giving your best.
Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most Pleasing
Of great importance to you now is...
...optimistic self-encouragement.
Again and again, you consciously adopt a positive inner attitude. This helps you to better stand up under the hardships of the present. You create goals, projects or ideals for yourself that give you a boost and the hope that your life will be better and happier. You search for ways and means which allow you to enjoy life without care and to spend more time devoting yourself to the things that bring you joy. In order to forge ahead in good spirits you now need...
...relaxing favorite pastime.
When the difficulties of daily life or human interaction become too much, you prefer to retreat to your favorite pastime, a quiet hobby or into the world of your thoughts, dreams and fantasies. If you try to achieve the necessary balance to daily routine through a regular practice of meditation, you will find what you have actually been looking for: inner detachedness and peace. It would also be ideal if you could occasionally spend time in the great outdoors. You believe a particular help in achieving the inner peace you desire is...
...peaceable avoidance of conflict.
Friendly relations are important to you. You avoid arguments when possible. You would like to get along peaceably with everyone and not cause any unnecessary trouble. You avoid everything that could place too much strain on your nerves because the demands of your daily life are already enough of a burden. Nevertheless, every now and then, you will be drawn into unpleasant confrontations with someone. You hope to be able to protect yourself from unpleasant situations by...
...obtaining sufficient funds.
It is very important to you to have enough money at your disposal so that you can afford whatever you wish to have or do. For this reason, you are currently spending more time thinking about your finances, and you anxiously deliberate on how you could obtain the necessary money. The certainty that you have sufficient funds strengthens your sense of self-worth and helps you to meet other people with confidence. You have unrealistic expectations regarding your...
...objective assessment of the situation.
Whatever you perceive – people, things or information – you analyze it, both critically and with a certain amount of skepticism, because you want to be certain whether it is beneficial to you or not. You are not easily misled, and in line with the motto “once bitten, twice shy”, you keep your distance from everything that could damage your wallet, your reputation, your wellbeing or your peace of mind. One thing is utterly clear to you: your present situation requires...
...loving attention.
You attempt to use your kindness to gain the affection of other people, and thanks to your charming ways, you usually succeed. You are happy when you can be with someone who shows you warm-heartedness, sympathy and understanding and with whom you can share the enjoyable things of life: delicious food, beautiful music, a comfortable home and, last but not least, the pleasurable exchange of physical affection.
Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most Unpleasant
At the moment you feel most anxious due to your...
...distressing relationship problems.
At the moment, you are more aware of your personal needs, worries and problems, and this makes contact with others more difficult. Your relationship difficulties make you all the sadder because, under the current conditions, you need loving attention more than usual. It would be easier for you to get what you need if you were better able to put yourself in the other person's shoes. You inwardly sigh over your...
...continuing lack of enjoyment.
You feel that difficult circumstances are limiting your ability to experience and enjoy things, and this frustrates you and makes you sensitive to every manner of restriction, demand or even criticism that some person tries to impose on you. You believe you have to fend off such intentions and to act vigorously in order to obtain what you need. You are unable to truly enjoy life due to your...
...inner restlessness.
You have a very sensitive nature, and for this reason, you try as quickly as possible to forget unpleasant experiences by distracting yourself through all means of activity. Naturally, your restlessness can't bring you the inner peace you yearn for. On the contrary, the repressed negative emotions can manifest themselves through sudden shifts in mood or fits of bad temper. You are unable to find inner peace due to your...
...heavy burden of problems.
You feel burdened by personal problems that are not easy to solve. Your biggest problem, however, is the one you create through your belief that the source of your problems lies outside yourself. In truth, it is your conscious mind with its convictions, desires and fears which generates the problems and conflicts and what is more, claims it can't do anything about this, but is nonetheless willing to solve them. The thing you prefer not to admit to is your...
...burdensome situation of suffering.
You believe people should behave correctly, considerately and kindly towards you so that your interactions run pleasantly and without friction. Since this is frequently not the case, you often become indignant over their incorrect behavior and views or their lack of kindness. You easily get the feeling of being someone's innocent victim and believe you have every right to be outraged. You also suffer quite a bit due to your...
...frightening lack of power.
You constantly see yourself confronted with a mountain of difficulties and problems. At the same time, you don't want to let yourself be dragged down by feelings of despair and resignation. For this reason, you concentrate on achieving what is most important to you right now. The resources you employ in doing so range from winning affability to skillful manipulation all the way to authoritarian pressure because you want to get everything under control. Your fear of being powerless arouses exactly the opposite in you: a thirst for power.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Something you should read before you start a fight.

My "Aha Moment" happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized he'd gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat - which means it's 70% lean and 30% fat.

I asked, "What's this?"

"Hamburger meat," he replied, slightly confused.

"You didn't get the right kind," I said.

"I didn't?" He replied with his brow furrowed. " Was there some other brand you wanted or something?"

"No. You're missing the point, " I said. "You got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20."

He laughed. "Oh. That's all? I thought I'd really messed up or something."

That's how it started. I launched into him. I berated him for not being smarter. Why would he not get the more healthy option? Did he even read the labels? Why can't I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him in minute detail so he gets it right? Also, and the thing I was probably most offended by, why wasn't he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years what I always get? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?

As he sat there, bearing the brunt of my righteous indignation and muttering responses like, "I never noticed," "I really don't think it's that big of a deal," and "I'll get it right next time," I saw his face gradually take on an expression that I'd seen on him a lot in recent years. It was a combination of resignation and demoralization. He looked eerily like our son does when he gets chastised. That's when it hit me. "Why am I doing this? I'm not his mom."

I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasn't anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of hamburger meat that he dutifully picked up from the grocery store just like I asked. If I had specific requirements, I should have been clearer. I didn't know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, "Yeah. I guess we'll make do with this. I'm going to start dinner."

He seemed relieved it was over and he left the kitchen.

And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what I'd just done. And what I'd been doing to him for years, probably. The "hamburger meat moment," as I've come to call it, certainly wasn't the first time I scolded him for not doing something the way I thought it should be done. He was always putting something away in the wrong place. Or leaving something out. Or neglecting to do something altogether. And I was always right there to point it out to him.

Why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that I've taken as my partner in life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow old. Why do I do what women are so often accused of, and try to change the way he does every little thing? Do I feel like I'm accomplishing something? Clearly not if I feel I have to keep doing it. Why do I think it's reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just that way? The instances in which he does something differently, does it mean he's wrong? When did "my way" become "the only way?" When did it become okay to constantly correct him and lecture him and point out every little thing I didn't like as if he were making some kind of mistake?

And how does it benefit him? Does it make him think, "Wow! I'm sure glad she was there to set me straight?" I highly doubt it. He probably feels like I'm harping on him for no reason whatsoever. And it I'm pretty sure it makes him think his best approach in regards to me is to either stop doing things around the house, or avoid me altogether.

Two cases in point. #1. I recently found a shard of glass on the kitchen floor. I asked him what happened. He said he broke a glass the night before. When I asked why he didn't tell me, he said, "I just cleaned it up and threw it away because I didn't want you to have a conniption fit over it." #2. I was taking out the trash and found a pair of blue tube socks in the bin outside. I asked him what happened and why he'd thrown them away. He said, "They accidentally got in the wash with my jeans. Every time I put in laundry, you feel the need to remind me not to mix colors and whites. I didn't want you to see them and reinforce your obvious belief that I don't know how to wash clothes after 35 years."

So it got to the point where he felt it was a better idea — or just plain easier — to cover things up than admit he made a human error. What kind of environment have I created where he feels he's not allowed to make mistakes?

And let's look at these "offenses": A broken glass. A pair of blue tube socks. Both common mistakes that anyone could have made. But he was right. Regarding the glass, I not only pointed out his clumsiness for breaking it, but also due to the shard I found, his sad attempt at cleaning it up. As for the socks, even though he'd clearly stated it was an accident, I gave him a verbal lesson about making sure he pays more attention when he's sorting clothes. Whenever any issues like this arise, he'll sit there and take it for a little bit, but always responds in the end with something like, "I guess it just doesn't matter that much to me."

I know now that what he means is, "this thing that has you so upset is a small detail, or a matter of opinion, or a preference, and I don't see why you're making it such a big deal." But from my end I came to interpret it over time that he didn't care about my happiness or trying to do things the way I think they should be done. I came to view it like "this guy just doesn't get it." I am clearly the brains of this operation.

I started thinking about what I'd observed with my friends' relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasn't alone. Somehow, too many women have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. There's even a phrase to reinforce it: "Happy wife, happy life." That doesn't leave a lot of room for his opinions, does it?

It's an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements - they're all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. He can't cook. He can't take care of the kids. If you send him out to get three things, he'll come back with two — and they'll both be wrong. We see it again and again.

What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says "we don't respect you. We don't think you're smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you'll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation." Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he's confident with himself and who he is, he'll come to resent you. If he's at all unsure about himself, he'll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.

Did my husband do the same to me? Just as I'm sure there are untold numbers of women who don't ever do this kind of thing to their husbands, I'm sure there are men who do it to their wives too. But I don't think of it as a typical male characteristic. As I sat and thought about it, I realized my husband didn't display the same behavior toward me. I even thought about some of the times I really did make mistakes. The time I backed into the gate and scratched the car? He never said a word about it. The time I was making dinner, got distracted by a call from my mom, and burned it to cinders? He just said, "We can just order a pizza." The time I tried to put the new patio furniture together and left his good tools out in the rain? "Accidents happen," was his only response.

I shuddered to think what I would have said had the shoe been on the other foot and he'd made those mistakes.

So is he just a better person than me? Why doesn't he bite my head off when I don't do things the way he likes? I'd be a fool to think it doesn't happen. And yet I don't remember him ever calling me out on it. It doesn't seem he's as intent as changing the way I do things. But why?

Maybe I should take what's he always said at face value. The fact that these little things "really don't matter that much to him" is not a sign that he's lazy, or that he's incapable of learning, or that he just doesn't give a damn about what I want. Maybe to him, the small details are not that important in his mind — and justifiably so. They're not the kinds of things to start fights over. They're not the kinds of things he needs to change about me. It certainly doesn't make him dumb or inept. He's just not as concerned with some of the minutia as I am. And it's why he doesn't freak out when he's on the other side of the fence.

The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. He's not my servant. He's not my employee. He's not my child. I didn't think he was stupid when I married him - otherwise I wouldn't have. He doesn't need to be reprimanded by me because I don't like the way he does some things.

When I got to that point mentally, it then made me start thinking about all the good things about him. He's intelligent. He's a good person. He's devoted. He's awesome with the kids. And he does always help around the house. (Just not always to my liking!) Even more, not only does he refrain from giving me grief when I make mistakes or do things differently than him, he's always been very agreeable to my way of doing things. And for the most part, if he notices I prefer to do something a certain way, he tries to remember it in the future. Instead of focusing on those wonderful things, I just harped on the negative. And again, I know I'm not alone in this.

If we keep attempting to make our husbands feel small, or foolish, or inept because they occasionally mess up (and I use that term to also mean "do things differently than us"), then eventually they're going to stop trying to do things. Or worse yet, they'll actually come to believe those labels are true.

In my case it's my husband of 12+ years I'm talking about. The same man who thanklessly changed my car tire in the rain. The guy who taught our kids to ride bikes. The person who stayed with me at the hospital all night when my mom was sick. The man who has always worked hard to make a decent living and support his family.

He knows how to change the oil in the car. He can re-install my computer's operating system. He lifts things for me that are too heavy and opens stuck jar lids. He shovels the sidewalk. He can put up a ceiling fan. He fixes the toilet when it won't stop running. I can't (or don't) do any of those things. And yet I give him grief about a dish out of place. He's a good man who does a lot for me, and doesn't deserve to be harassed over little things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Since my revelation, I try to catch myself when I start to nag. I'm not always 100% consistent, but I know I've gotten a lot better. And I've seen that one little change make a big improvement in our relationship. Things seem more relaxed. We seem to be getting along better. It think we're both starting to see each other more as trusted partners, not adversarial opponents at odds with each other in our day-to-day existence. I've even come to accept that sometimes his way of doing things may be better!

It takes two to make a partnership. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. And you're not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. It doesn't make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing he does that's not to your liking. Ladies, remember, it's just hamburger meat.

Taken from: http://brando.tickld.com/x/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

Shared with me by a special someone - you know who you are ;)

Monday, April 13, 2015

Articles I'd like to share.

Instead of spamming my facebook with these really beautifully written and good posts (in my opinion), I've decided to share them here instead.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/the-beauty-of-understanding-that-not-all-relationships-are-meant-to-last/

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http://thoughtcatalog.com/charlotte-green/2014/06/the-kind-of-love-thats-still-worth-believing-in/

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http://elitedaily.com/life/11-things-you-should-remind-yourself-of-when-you-wake-up/613831/

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http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-things-you-should-not-give-for-relationship.html

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http://thoughtcatalog.com/charlotte-green/2013/03/the-things-girls-are-afraid-to-say/