心。

好想哭。但是哭了心还是会痛。

那就别哭了。别想了。把时间和精力放在别的事吧。

勇敢做回当初的自己。

don't know what i'm trying to do anymore.

midnight thoughts;

When you love someone, be it a friend, family or lover, you...

• Seek comfort in their presence, whether it's words of reassurance, or physical comfort in the form of hugs etc
• Feel secure knowing that they are there with you
• Feel belonged
• Look for them to be yourself
• Look to them for your daily dose of fun/joy/laughter
• Advise them when necessary
• Pick them out on their bullshit and help them get their shit together when they need your reminders
• Seek help from them to fix the problems in your life, be it techie issues, academic problems etc
• Understand their needs and wants
• Are willing to go through thick and thin with them
• Be there for them
• Love them for their flaws and habits and everything that makes them, them.
• Put yourself/your heart out there, knowing that you might get hurt
• Wish the best for them no matter what happens
• Don't ever want to leave them
• Hope for the best that you'll remain in contact and things will turn out better in the end.

Love is not a feeling; love is a choice.

I want the truth.

I saw something I shouldn't and I can't get over it.

You probably know what happened. And you got rid of it.

Now I'm not sure what to do.

累了。有时候真的不知道到底是在逃避现实，还是无谓的坚持，又或者是必经过的过程？

Something you should read before you start a fight.

My "Aha Moment" happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized he'd gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat - which means it's 70% lean and 30% fat.

I asked, "What's this?"

"Hamburger meat," he replied, slightly confused.

"You didn't get the right kind," I said.

"I didn't?" He replied with his brow furrowed. " Was there some other brand you wanted or something?"

"No. You're missing the point, " I said. "You got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20."

He laughed. "Oh. That's all? I thought I'd really messed up or something."

That's how it started. I launched into him. I berated him for not being smarter. Why would he not get the more healthy option? Did he even read the labels? Why can't I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him in minute detail so he gets it right? Also, and the thing I was probably most offended by, why wasn't he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years what I always get? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?

As he sat there, bearing the brunt of my righteous indignation and muttering responses like, "I never noticed," "I really don't think it's that big of a deal," and "I'll get it right next time," I saw his face gradually take on an expression that I'd seen on him a lot in recent years. It was a combination of resignation and demoralization. He looked eerily like our son does when he gets chastised. That's when it hit me. "Why am I doing this? I'm not his mom."

I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasn't anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of hamburger meat that he dutifully picked up from the grocery store just like I asked. If I had specific requirements, I should have been clearer. I didn't know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, "Yeah. I guess we'll make do with this. I'm going to start dinner."

He seemed relieved it was over and he left the kitchen.

And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what I'd just done. And what I'd been doing to him for years, probably. The "hamburger meat moment," as I've come to call it, certainly wasn't the first time I scolded him for not doing something the way I thought it should be done. He was always putting something away in the wrong place. Or leaving something out. Or neglecting to do something altogether. And I was always right there to point it out to him.

Why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that I've taken as my partner in life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow old. Why do I do what women are so often accused of, and try to change the way he does every little thing? Do I feel like I'm accomplishing something? Clearly not if I feel I have to keep doing it. Why do I think it's reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just that way? The instances in which he does something differently, does it mean he's wrong? When did "my way" become "the only way?" When did it become okay to constantly correct him and lecture him and point out every little thing I didn't like as if he were making some kind of mistake?

And how does it benefit him? Does it make him think, "Wow! I'm sure glad she was there to set me straight?" I highly doubt it. He probably feels like I'm harping on him for no reason whatsoever. And it I'm pretty sure it makes him think his best approach in regards to me is to either stop doing things around the house, or avoid me altogether.

Two cases in point. #1. I recently found a shard of glass on the kitchen floor. I asked him what happened. He said he broke a glass the night before. When I asked why he didn't tell me, he said, "I just cleaned it up and threw it away because I didn't want you to have a conniption fit over it." #2. I was taking out the trash and found a pair of blue tube socks in the bin outside. I asked him what happened and why he'd thrown them away. He said, "They accidentally got in the wash with my jeans. Every time I put in laundry, you feel the need to remind me not to mix colors and whites. I didn't want you to see them and reinforce your obvious belief that I don't know how to wash clothes after 35 years."

So it got to the point where he felt it was a better idea — or just plain easier — to cover things up than admit he made a human error. What kind of environment have I created where he feels he's not allowed to make mistakes?

And let's look at these "offenses": A broken glass. A pair of blue tube socks. Both common mistakes that anyone could have made. But he was right. Regarding the glass, I not only pointed out his clumsiness for breaking it, but also due to the shard I found, his sad attempt at cleaning it up. As for the socks, even though he'd clearly stated it was an accident, I gave him a verbal lesson about making sure he pays more attention when he's sorting clothes. Whenever any issues like this arise, he'll sit there and take it for a little bit, but always responds in the end with something like, "I guess it just doesn't matter that much to me."

I know now that what he means is, "this thing that has you so upset is a small detail, or a matter of opinion, or a preference, and I don't see why you're making it such a big deal." But from my end I came to interpret it over time that he didn't care about my happiness or trying to do things the way I think they should be done. I came to view it like "this guy just doesn't get it." I am clearly the brains of this operation.

I started thinking about what I'd observed with my friends' relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasn't alone. Somehow, too many women have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. There's even a phrase to reinforce it: "Happy wife, happy life." That doesn't leave a lot of room for his opinions, does it?

It's an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements - they're all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. He can't cook. He can't take care of the kids. If you send him out to get three things, he'll come back with two — and they'll both be wrong. We see it again and again.

What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says "we don't respect you. We don't think you're smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you'll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation." Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he's confident with himself and who he is, he'll come to resent you. If he's at all unsure about himself, he'll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.

Did my husband do the same to me? Just as I'm sure there are untold numbers of women who don't ever do this kind of thing to their husbands, I'm sure there are men who do it to their wives too. But I don't think of it as a typical male characteristic. As I sat and thought about it, I realized my husband didn't display the same behavior toward me. I even thought about some of the times I really did make mistakes. The time I backed into the gate and scratched the car? He never said a word about it. The time I was making dinner, got distracted by a call from my mom, and burned it to cinders? He just said, "We can just order a pizza." The time I tried to put the new patio furniture together and left his good tools out in the rain? "Accidents happen," was his only response.

I shuddered to think what I would have said had the shoe been on the other foot and he'd made those mistakes.

So is he just a better person than me? Why doesn't he bite my head off when I don't do things the way he likes? I'd be a fool to think it doesn't happen. And yet I don't remember him ever calling me out on it. It doesn't seem he's as intent as changing the way I do things. But why?

Maybe I should take what's he always said at face value. The fact that these little things "really don't matter that much to him" is not a sign that he's lazy, or that he's incapable of learning, or that he just doesn't give a damn about what I want. Maybe to him, the small details are not that important in his mind — and justifiably so. They're not the kinds of things to start fights over. They're not the kinds of things he needs to change about me. It certainly doesn't make him dumb or inept. He's just not as concerned with some of the minutia as I am. And it's why he doesn't freak out when he's on the other side of the fence.

The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. He's not my servant. He's not my employee. He's not my child. I didn't think he was stupid when I married him - otherwise I wouldn't have. He doesn't need to be reprimanded by me because I don't like the way he does some things.

When I got to that point mentally, it then made me start thinking about all the good things about him. He's intelligent. He's a good person. He's devoted. He's awesome with the kids. And he does always help around the house. (Just not always to my liking!) Even more, not only does he refrain from giving me grief when I make mistakes or do things differently than him, he's always been very agreeable to my way of doing things. And for the most part, if he notices I prefer to do something a certain way, he tries to remember it in the future. Instead of focusing on those wonderful things, I just harped on the negative. And again, I know I'm not alone in this.

If we keep attempting to make our husbands feel small, or foolish, or inept because they occasionally mess up (and I use that term to also mean "do things differently than us"), then eventually they're going to stop trying to do things. Or worse yet, they'll actually come to believe those labels are true.

In my case it's my husband of 12+ years I'm talking about. The same man who thanklessly changed my car tire in the rain. The guy who taught our kids to ride bikes. The person who stayed with me at the hospital all night when my mom was sick. The man who has always worked hard to make a decent living and support his family.

He knows how to change the oil in the car. He can re-install my computer's operating system. He lifts things for me that are too heavy and opens stuck jar lids. He shovels the sidewalk. He can put up a ceiling fan. He fixes the toilet when it won't stop running. I can't (or don't) do any of those things. And yet I give him grief about a dish out of place. He's a good man who does a lot for me, and doesn't deserve to be harassed over little things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Since my revelation, I try to catch myself when I start to nag. I'm not always 100% consistent, but I know I've gotten a lot better. And I've seen that one little change make a big improvement in our relationship. Things seem more relaxed. We seem to be getting along better. It think we're both starting to see each other more as trusted partners, not adversarial opponents at odds with each other in our day-to-day existence. I've even come to accept that sometimes his way of doing things may be better!

It takes two to make a partnership. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. And you're not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. It doesn't make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing he does that's not to your liking. Ladies, remember, it's just hamburger meat.

Taken from: http://brando.tickld.com/x/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

Shared with me by a special someone - you know who you are ;)

Gone Girl

Give me a man with a little fight in him, a man who calls me on my bullshit. (But who also kind of likes my bullshit.)

"Familiarity breeds contempt."

Starting to see some truth in it.

--

Shall resume blogging soon during this one month break.

Do some soul searching along the way.

Get my life back on track - my goals, motivations, priorities.

More rants, random thoughts, inspirations to be penned (typed) down. Hopefully.


Have a great holiday ahead. 

Turmoil

Why do you have to make things so complicated?

This wasn't meant to be tough. I just wanted it to be smooth-sailing, happy and free. But you just had to put excuses up for me, which you could in turn use against me; thank you very much. You blame me for being judgemental after what you told me, and I followed up with an apology after realising that I had misunderstood you. I asked for you to be more understanding given my predicament then, you claimed that you were, but you weren't so deep within you. In return, you asked me to be more understanding towards you and claim that I haven't been understanding. This is not a finger-pointing session or blame-pushing session. I was looking towards a peaceful resolution. And then you said that you cursed me (though I can't distinguish if you meant it seriously or not - can't really tell what's real or what's not from you already) for putting you into a situation where you were phyiscally uncomfortable and mentally disturbed. My heart kind of sank a little when I heard it. I suggested that because it was meant to help you. I didn't know how uncomfortable it was going to be. Most of all, I did not think that you would curse me when I had your best interests at heart. And you said that you were never going to be convinced by me anymore. Which made me equally disappointed.

What I dislike most of all, was the fact that you brought up old scores. The fact that you kept them in the first place disappoints me the most. Whatever we had agreed from the start is now null and void. And you always guilt trick me by 'admitting' your mistakes when trying to come to a 'resolution' such that we both 'compromise' and things can return to normal. But I will not fall for that anymore. I will not be letting this off.



I can go on and on and on about this emotional turmoil going on..

But I shall go sleep.

Bye.

//希望明天会更好

Rants & problems.

Hi.

I looked through my previous few posts and realized I haven't written a real one in a pretty long while. So I'm gonna write one today. And I really feel the urge to.

As the title of this post suggests, it's gonna be entirely on my problems and all that. Read on if you're interested, but probably you won't understand what I'm conveying for about half the time because I haven't blogged about my life for a rather long time. Otherwise, thanks for reading it up till here. 

Firstly, I really need to deal with my decision-making issues. It's my life. I need to decide for myself what I really want and not leave everything to the rest of the people to decide, or even allow time to decide for me. I just cannot muster the courage to make decisions, even minor ones sometimes. For instance, I cannot even decide when I want to check into my hall which sounds rather ridiculous. Of course it's not that simple about randomly picking a date lah. There are other factors to consider, especially when money is involved (yes I am a bit stingy like that) and then the inauspicious month by the Chinese calendar is around the corner. I have to seriously come up with a solution to deal with this huge problem of mine.

I really wish that we could all be more direct with each other, myself included. What I mean isn't to be rude and hurl insensitive remarks at each other, but to say what we really mean. To express our true emotions and not hide or keep mum about them. Everyone suffers eventually. X who doesn't like to express his thoughts will either leave Y feeling lost and confused or have Y creating an impression that X is okay with it. Stuff like that is exactly how we create tons of misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict and tension. 

Dodging or avoiding problems or pretending nothing happened i.e. living in denial when they come your way won't help anything at all. It just leaves the issue 'hanging', or just 'resolve' it momentarily. When one party A who tries very hard to resolve the problem is met with another one B who just wants to avoid it or shrug things off as if nothing happened, some day A will get so damn tired of trying to salvage the relationship and it's just gonna end there. Sadly.

I admit that I have problems with managing my schedule at times. This stems from my poor ability to make decisions and hence I am unable to choose who/what to prioritize and leads to some negligence of some people/parties. I am already trying to work on this. I mark my calendar dates and make sure I have a good idea of what to expect for the next couple of days. If something last minute happens but is not as important, I try to reschedule if possible or just skip it entirely. I apologize sincerely to anyone who had/has been a victim of my poor scheduling.

I have been plagued with quite a bit of emotional problems now that I really hope to rewind time. Back to where I could correct my mistakes e.g. my poor time planning, rebuild the trust/faith that was lost as a result of that. Probably things would be better now. But of course life goes on. I can only look forward to handling it better in the future. But of course I hope that the relevant people will still have a decent amount of faith in me that I can do it.

I confess that I don't show my emotions very well. I don't say things like "I love you" and you know, all that sort of things. I prefer to show it through my actions. And because it's not spoken words, sometimes people misunderstand that I am cold and unresponsive, or feel unloved. But I am not. I really care a lot for my loved ones and I can only genuinely hope that they can feel it through my actions.

And yes I wish to end this post on an optimistic note because I don't like to wish for the worse. I hope that things will go uphill from now on. I don't want another series of unhappiness. I hope that's not asking for much.

This post was meant to be longer but my stamina (not the physical stamina I mean) can only last till here. It's kind of a bit too depressing that I am afraid water might come out of my eyes (whatever you think that means).

10 Things You Should Not Give Up For A Relationship

10 Things You Should Not Give Up For A Relationship

just some stuff.

基本上有些類似又不會太像，大方向相同、小地方相合，是溫馨平和、優雅細緻的

有種奇妙的親切感，雖然不一定贊同觀點，卻很能了解與體諒且鼓勵

起初，有所保留，雖然一見如故，卻總是差那麼一點什麼；感到有些困惑及苦惱，可是又扯不下臉來問

用文字表達

需要安全感及安定感，易引得憐惜

保持細心和關懷去疼惜，偶而勾引出原始的母性就能一切完美

不要用優秀的分析頭腦去批評親朋好友

How to Love a Girl Who Doesn't Know How to Be Loved.

Whether we know it or not, we’ve all met some form of the typical “Miss Independent.”

Some of us know her better than others; some of us claim that title ourselves.

She’s the self-sufficient, somewhat mysterious go-getter with big dreams and an even bigger heart, though not everyone sees it at first glance.

Some might see her as cold and distant, because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling scattered and spread so thin that she disappears. Sure, she has family and friends with whom she loves to spend much of her time, but it’s in her nature to crave those precious hours of solitude—being only with her thoughts, completely alone in a crowd or in the vastness of a quiet scene.

Some call it antisocial; she calls it sanity.

For any or all of these reasons and then some, she’s never been the type to “fall in love.” In fact, if she has ever been in a relationship to any degree, it was likely one of the most difficult and confusing things she’s ever experienced—and she’s not usually one to be deterred.

Perhaps she’s too focused on her goals to realize that love could be knocking on her door, or she’s so comfortable with being in control that the thought of surrendering even a little bit to someone else makes her uneasy. There’s also a chance that, despite her outward confidence and undeniable potential for success, she’s extremely insecure.

Or, maybe she’s simply afraid of opening herself up enough to be loved.

Whatever the reason, it comes down to the fact that this girl probably doesn’t know how to handle the love that a suitor might want to give her. It doesn’t mean she’s a lost cause, it just means that developing any kind of relationship with her will require an approach that’s more sensitive to her guarded heart.

In an effort to offer some insight, here are a few pointers for learning how to love a girl who doesn’t know how to be loved:

1. Be patient.

Don’t expect her to feel comfortable with diving headfirst into anything even slightly resembling romance. Keep in mind, it’s probably taken her a great deal of contemplation and courage to even consider spending her time with you. And if she does appear comfortable responding to your first moves, it’s quite possible that she’s actually terrified of what you’ll think of her if she asks to slow things down. So, she just musters the strength to submit herself to the moment, only to spend all night feeling horrible about her dishonesty and inability step on the brakes. This will freak her out enough to make her sever whatever ties were made and withdraw immediately—something she’s not afraid to do.

To avoid that, let things unfold at a pace that feels natural, which might be slower than what’s considered “normal.” Remember, she’s not used to this, and too much at once will surely send her over the edge. Showing sensitivity to her pace will let her know that she doesn’t have to fear being out of control, causing a miscommunication or feeling the pressure of time.

2. Talk.

Because she spends so much of her time alone and in her head, this girl might be under the impression that her thoughts and opinions are a bit too intense for others. She rarely shares the things on her mind, as she fears that whatever’s in there is so deep and inquisitive that people will think it’s overdramatic, oddly philosophical or just plain weird. She values deep conversation, but feels that she can exercise this pleasure with relatively few people, if any at all.

So talk with her. Let her know that she can say what’s on her mind, and don’t be afraid of her ability to dissect every possible meaning of a theory she’s been hung up on for weeks. If she apologizes for rambling about it, tell her she doesn’t need to be sorry, she doesn’t need to suppress it. Make her feel that although she is certainly unique for having such thoughts, she isn’t crazy or abnormal.

Tell her it makes her all the more beautiful.

And then, give it right back to her. Be sure to engage in her contemplations just as much as you listen; she wants to hear your thoughts more than you realize.

3. Support her.

Part of this girl’s struggle with letting herself be loved could be that she is relentlessly focused on her dreams and goals, so much so that she forgets to make room in her life for other things—like relationships. It’s not something she does intentionally, she’s just extremely determined to achieve whatever she has set out to do.

If she is forced to make a choice between a love life and her goals, she’s already chosen the latter. So don’t make her choose.

And certainly don’t make her feel guilty for not spending more of her time with you as a result—she’ll take that as another sign that she needs to sever the ties, even if they’re stronger at this point.

Instead, support her. If you really love this girl and she really loves you, then she’ll welcome the encouragement. She’ll want to support you, too. Let her; with a heart as passionate as hers, you’ll want her on your team.

4. Don’t be two halves of a whole, be two wholes that make an even greater whole.

Remember that this “Miss Independent” is just that—an independent chick with an ability to fend for herself. She might even be afraid of relying on others, no matter how much she trusts them.

Therefore, don’t think of a relationship with her as one that joins two halves together to make a whole; she won’t treat it as such, and she definitely won’t feel comfortable if you do. Rather, see it as two wholes becoming an even greater whole—two individuals who love each other enough to respect the other’s independence and uniqueness.

This includes honoring her need for alone time. She realizes that you are a person with or without her and asks that you see her in the same way. Being able to spend time apart is important to her; she doesn’t want to rely on your presence, nor does she want you to rely on hers.

Don’t try to spend every hour of every day with her unless you want her to feel so bombarded that she tailspins into a mess of tears, word vomit and utter confusion, ending with her breaking it off and swearing to never interact with another human ever again.

But when you are together, be together. Completely. Let her know she is loved until she begins to understand what that feels like, and then keep doing it. If it’s right, she’ll come around. And because she’s loyal by nature, she’ll stick around, too (so don’t give her any reason to think that you won’t).

Truly, this girl has a lot of love to give, even if she’s a bit awkward in showing it at first. She just needs time—time to figure things out for herself, to better understand how this works.

Let her figure out that deep down, she just wants to love and be loved—just like everyone else.

If she happens to let you close enough to love her, take it seriously. It means she’s trying. It means she wants to love you. And remember that helping her learn how to be loved in return is the surest way to win her heart.

- taken from http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/03/how-to-love-a-girl-who-doesnt-know-how-to-be-loved/

Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye "When Love Arrives"

Amazing.







And Amanda in case if you're reading/watching this - no that is not the reason; I just happened to chance upon it.

A Single Guy Quit His Job And Spent A Year Interviewing Couples In Love — This Is The Best Relationship Advice He Learned | Business Insider

Nate Bagley says he was sick of hearing love stories that fell into one of two categories — scandal and divorce, and unrealistic fairytale.

So he started a Kickstarter and used his life savings to tour the country and interview couples in happy, long-term relationships.

He then took to Reddit’s /r/IAmA to share what he learned (just in time for Valentine’s Day), and to post podcasts of the couples’ journeys and advice.

“I’ve interviewed gay couples, straight couples, rich couples, poor couples, religious couples, atheist couples, couples who have been together for a short time, and couples who have been together for over 70 years,” he said in his Ask Me Anything. “I’ve even interviewed couples in arranged marriages and polygamous couples.”

He now hopes to make a documentary from the interviews, and has many of them already uploaded on his website, The Loveumentary. This is some of the best advice that he shared with Reddit:

On the key things that make a relationship successful:

“This was actually one of the most surprising things I learned on the journey.

Self Love: The happiest couples always consisted of two (sometimes more) emotionally healthy and independently happy individuals. These people practiced self-love. They treated themselves with the same type of care that they treated their partner… or at least they tried to.

Emotionally healthy people know how to forgive, they are able to acknowledge their part in any disagreement or conflict and take responsibility for it. They are self-aware enough to be assertive, to pull their weight, and to give love when it’s most difficult.

Commitment: After that emotional health came an unquestioning level of commitment. The happiest couples knew that if shit got real, their significant other wasn’t going to walk out on them. They knew that even if things got hard – no, especially if things got hard — they were better off together. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

Trust: Happy couples trust each other… and they have earned each others’ trust. They don’t worry about the other person trying to undermine them or sabotage them, because they’ve proven over and over again that they are each other’s biggest advocate. That trust is built through actions, not words. It’s day after day after day of fidelity, service, emotional security, reliability.

Establish that foundation, and you’re in good shape.

Intentionality: This is the icing on the cake. There’s a difference between the couple who drives through the rainstorm and the couple who pulls their car to the side of the road to make out in the rain. (Yes, that’s a true story.) There’s a difference between the couple who kisses for 10 seconds or longer when they say goodbye to each other rather than just giving each other a peck… or nothing at all. There’s a difference between the couples who encourage each other to pursue their personal goals at the expense of their own discomfort or inconvenience… even if it means their partner has to stage kiss another woman.

The couples who try on a daily basis to experience some sort of meaningful connection, or create a fun memory are the couples who shattered my perception of what was possible in a loving relationship.”

On the best advice he was given:

“One woman in Georgia gave some pretty amazing advice. She and and her husband have been married for over 60 years, and after being asked what her best relationship advice would be, she paused and said…

‘Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most.’”

On the best way to solve disagreements:

“Resolving disagreements was one of the topics that came up the most.

Here’s what I learned:

Don’t Fight To Win: A huge number of couples talked about how they didn’t fight against each other. I mean, if you’re in love, you should be playing for the same team. Your goal should be to resolve the issue, not to emerge victorious over the love of your life… and let’s be honest, you just feel guilty when you win anyway.

Seek to Understand: If you’re having a hard time playing on the same team, stop fighting and instead try to understand why your partner is upset. Typically what’s being talked about isn’t the real issue. People are inherently bad at being vulnerable, especially in threatening situations. Be willing to ask sincere questions. Let the answers sink in. If she is complaining that you’re spending too much time at work, maybe the real issue is that she misses you, and wants to feel connected with you. Rather than arguing about how you’re providing for the family, and she needs to respect how hard you work, try to listen to what she’s really saying. Then hold her. Come home early one day, and surprise her with a date, or some special one-on-one time. Reassure her that she, and your relationship, are a priority for you. If you don’t want that same issue to arise again, keep investing in the solution.

Just Be Nice To Each Other Seriously. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t call names. Don’t take jabs. Don’t try to hurt the other person. Argue naked if it helps… but just be kind and civil ad respectful. It will prevent so many bad things from happening.”

And his favorite quote from all the interviews:

“At the end of Ty’s life, I want him to be able to say, ‘Terri was the greatest earthly blessing in my life — the best thing that ever happened to me — and that I’m a better man because of how she loved me.’ And that’s the goal that I live with every day. That’s how I want to love this man.”

The End of 'A' Levels.

Hmm I was trying to think of an innovative title for this post. But couldn't think of any.

Never mind.

So A levels officially ended a few days ago.

I don't really feel that great sense of relief. Probably because I already began slacking at half-time. Which is sorta bad.

But anyway. My overall sense of the papers was that I could have done better. Fewer careless mistakes. Clearer sense of mind. But it's all over. Now, using my own words for myself, "no point crying over split milk."

Anyway, the past 2 days have been enriching.

First was on 27th Nov, after Physics MCQ, I met my sister and caught Three Peas In A Pod. I wouldn't say it was an extremely good movie. But the plot twist was really unexpected, and it's not the cliche love story that one would expect. Go catch it if you haven't! Support local production! hehehe. :D

Then yesterday, met Amanda and we headed to TP to surprise LB at school hahahaha. Of course we had it all planned (ahem my plan ah) which succeeded. Yay. :) So we hanged around and had lunch at TP until LB's lessons ended then we went to Tampines 1 to sit and chat. Details of the chat will not be revealed at all, but it was a shocking one with secrets being revealed. Amanda, please be assured that I wouldn't let the same thing happen to you okay!! Then after that, LB decided to go buy some shoes so we accompanied her to Ruby. Then my bro suddenly wanted to catch Captain Philips at 9.10pm which I had not planned for at all. But I eventually agreed and gave dinner a miss. It was a really great movie!! I can't believe it's a true story! Honestly, I haven't watched the trailer. So I shall go youtube the trailer and post it here conveniently too. (opens a new tab)




go catch it too!!

hahaha so anyway I got home like around 12am + with my bro.

So ummm. That's about it.

I plan to slack for about a month, and then start to find some meaningful occupation such as working or whatever not. Haha. Really regretted not resting enough 2 years ago.

Anyway, gonna re-post my 'The End of 12 Years' post. Go read it if you like.

That's all. Bye!

Post-Prelims

Hello,

I'm back again (!)

Prelims just ended yesterday. (YAY!)

I don't really feel very much relieved or anything of that sort, probably coz A levels is just a short few weeks away. (inserts a tired look)

Yesterday after Prelims, went to Simpang Bedok with Amanda to try the fishball noodle. Hmm okay la, not too bad, but I think the other stall tasted better (coz the chilli was damn good) although the portion at the other stall is really quite small.. :/ (hahah yes Amanda I know you are reading this!)

After the food, I went to her house for like 4 hours or so of TV, then got home, showered and left for Tampines to catch a movie called Ilo Ilo (爸妈不在家) & dinner. I thought the movie was enjoyable; I would give it a 7.5-8/10, with 10 being the best. It's the first Singapore movie that won an award at the Cannes Film Festival (awww Singapore pride). The movie was really pretty relevant to me, 'coz my family hires maids and all. Some scenes were funny. The family conflicts seen were also something close to the heart. The last scene when the maid Terry left, I actually kind of shed a few tears 'coz it somehow reminded me the passing of Yati, just that hers was unexpected. The scene where the boy (Jiale) snipped the maid's hair off with the scissors - it somehow resonated within me. I could really feel the sadness as he gripped onto the snipped hair firmly, reluctant for her to go but knowing that she has to..

Okay so before I start getting emotional and stuff, overall the movie was quite nice I think. But it's not the type of movie that would interest everyone and probably the pace or storyline is rather slow and boring for some.. It really depends on yourself. I can't say for sure. So go catch it if you'd like! (:

--

Anyway I also had a super shiok sleep yesterday/today. Slept at 1.30 am and woke up at 12.20 pm ... :D

Then watched "The English Teacher". Haha not bad, quite funny. Motivates me to become a teacher myself to a certain extent. Haha. :)

Some songs in the movie were quite nice, such as these:

haha most of these are like really old songs... but they sound pretty good imo. Yes, I like oldies. :)











Then met a friend nearby the house - for once without studying..


--

Anyway, I thought I should probably write a bit about Prelims.

It wasn't particularly great. But I felt a bit more confident than my previous exams (I think). Really hoping to see an improvement in all my grades :( Although I am indeed worried for Economics (and GP to some extent).

Like what Ivan always says "hope for the best". And yes, that's what I'm going to do.

Shall start doing some work tonight and the weekends before lessons officially start on Monday..

Bye! (:

Short break before Prelims

Tomorrow we're gonna catch a movie with the school in lieu of National Day, called 我的朋友，我的同学，我爱过的一切。(That Girl In Pinafore). Looking forward to it since there's some 新谣 element in it. :D

After that will be National Day, Hari Raya break and the weekends. Will try my very best to spend my time productively, with my studies and my loved ones (:

I really don't know what else to say for now..

So bye!

一种甜蜜的快乐 (:

& so it happened..

Words just can't express how great it feels now that we've cleared the air.

.4th Aug (:

End of Promos

This pretty much describes how I feel right now.

But in a few days' time, it could become...

Yeah.

Promos have ended.

Relieved that it's over. But wait till the results arrive - that's when you know it's really over.

My simple wish is to pass all my subjects and get promoted. Hopefully I can manage that. 

So right now, I've been reading. Just finished 'Some Girls Are', by Courtney Summers. Well, one thing I have to say is that the 'f' word is very frequently used in the book. But apart from that, I think the storyline is rather captivating. :) Now, I'm going to read another book entitled, 'And This Is True', by Emily Mackie. This book was bought actually because of its interesting title. Quite an impulsive buy actually. Haha. :D Also borrowed other books from the National Library too. :)

Oh yah, as my birthday was near Promos, my birthday this year was not really like big or something. As in I also wasn't really in the mood for it. But still, a big THANK YOU goes out to everyone who wished or celebrated with me on my birthday! Thanks for making my day on 18th September! :D

Just yesterday, Amanda and I were supposed to go to NSRCC to gym via cycling there. Sadly, it rained, so we decided to take the shuttle bus there. But there was some miscommunication on my side which led us to miss the shuttle bus. Hence, we wanted to go to ITE Staff Club. But we got lost on bus 35. So after an entire  misadventure, we finally returned to Tanah Merah Station and took the next shuttle bus to NSRCC an hour later. Felt kinda stupid, but fun. Hehe. :D

Today went to do a Pilot Study for my PW. Collected unwanted excess food from residents in Pasir Ris. An enriching experience like the time I collected recyclables from residents at Kindness Week, a CIP event. :)

Oh yeah. Met my lovely PRSS friends, i.e. Amanda (again, hahaha) and Lee Boon, not long ago after Promos. Had a wonderful time as always. Chatted and ranted for most of the time. Always glad to have them!

:D

Anyway, 最近的一些感想：

有些人对你说的话，你不能每一句都相信，因为我们有时就是会傻傻分不清楚到底哪一句是真是假，尤其是甜言蜜语。有时候，我真的很想知道，你到底想干什么，可是之后又在问自己，问了又有何处，倒不如不问算了。我们的关系一直不断地疏远，我真的感到非常遗憾、难过，真的很想知道你有没有这种感觉。对我来说，你是我的精神支柱，在多数时候，一个能够让我感到快乐的人，但想了想，我觉得自己一直以来好像是自己胡思乱想，一厢情愿的。你真的让我感到很迷惑。我猜想，我心里的这个矛盾应该永远都解不开，直到你告诉我的那一天，我心里的挣扎应该就会解开了。今年生日你也没祝福我，我也无所谓，因为明白大家都各忙各的，但近来发现其实你对待其他人也是如此，让我感到些许的失望。人生就是如此，there is no answer to every question..　我该往前看了。I guess it's time to move on.

请大家读了这一番话不要问我到底在指什么。谢谢。

A Message To You

I don't dislike you. Really. In fact, I feel that you are actually a nice person to be with. You're smart, encouraging, helpful, friendly (maybe?), and many other nice qualities. But, there's just that little part of you that keeps me away from you. I believe I know why you are being so irritating, nevertheless, there should be some limit to it. You and I are very clear about why there should be a limit, so don't be ridiculous and ask me why. Indeed, I'm hoping to avoid you every single time - avoid your eye contact or even bumping into you at some place.

I must admit that I did have a crush on you last time. Personally, I'm not even sure if I actually still like you or maybe it's purely admiration. But in any way, even if I really do, I just want to tell you that the time is not right and just shrug that feeling off. You can survive through it. I'm sure you can. Just keep your mind on your studies and that's all. Don't even bother to think of anything else. Someone actually told me that there is a future possibility between the both of us. Well, maybe, and I must confess that I have ever thought about it. However, there's this thing inside of me, which tells me firmly that I must never fall for it. So, there it is, and I hope that you can take that feeling away from you. From then on, we can still be friends, definitely, but nothing more than that, at least not for now, okay? :)